And when I say a standard day, I mean each day I walk into the classroom I have no idea what kind of strange questions are going to be thrown my way or what kind of mood the kids are going to be in; obedient but non-engaging, off-the-walls-crazy (90% of the time), or ideally, in a LEARNING MOOD (which is actually oft combined with the off-the-wall-crazy bit: they might be driving me nuts but they are still excited to learn English)!
On the short walk from their regular classroom to the spare classroom at the end of the hall, I encounter a range questions or comments, sometimes pertaining to English or nothing at all really:
- "I wasn't in school Monday because my brother hit me on the back and I didn't feel well."
- "I heard the word 'cowboy' on the TV and I knew it was English."
- "I got new glasses since I could barely see anything before, but now I'll actually know what's going on in class." (And I was not aware of this until last week...?)
- "Do you have Easter where you live?"
- "What does "insert random English phrase" mean?"
- "Is that a TATTOO??" (um, what? No, never......)
Today was no exception.
When I pulled out my keys to unlock the door to the classroom, the two students in the front of the line exclaimed "Oh wow!!" at my keychain and proceed to inspect it, as if they had never seen one of these foreign objects before. Not sure why today, with only 3 weeks left, they decide to comment on my keychain when we have done this same routine the entire year.
They examine my keychain which has numerous fobs, none of which are new. Not quite sure what to say, I point to my fidelity cards from the local supermarkets.
.JPG) |
| The keychain in question |
"Is that the Intermarché in Dax?"
"Yes."
"You go to the one here in Dax?"
"Yes I do my grocery shopping there."
"That's not for the one back in England?"
"For the millionth time, I am not from England." (The other assistants and I have come to realize the kids mush the U.S./Canada/England into one dreamlike, but closely-located country.)*
"Oh. Where you live then, that's not for the Intermarché back home?"
"No Intermarché doesn't exist in the U.S."
... 30 seconds of wondrous silence...
"But then where do you go to do groceries??!"
"We have supermarkets but they just have other names."
"WHAT?"
The idea that Intermarché, LeClerc or Carrefour (the local grocery stores) don't exist in Americanadengland is absolutely ridiculous to them, which seems ridiculous to me.
But then I need to remind myself what I knew at age 9 and I don't feel so dismal about these kids' futures.
*My friend Natasha who is from England was recently recounting how her kids think she returns to England every night after school. They ask her if she's going home and how she's getting there. When she replies she is getting home by bike, they think she is actually riding her bike back home to England. They don't seem to grasp the fact that, much like themselves, she is currently living in Dax. She just happens to come from England. I've gathered they think Paris is probably only 30 minutes away and England (apparently including the U.S. and Canada) are only another 30 minutes from there.
I don't have InDesign or any of that fancy Adobe software, so instead of a cute little meme, here is my hand-drawn rendition of how French kids view Americanadengland aka that place where they speak English:
